Questions

How long can it possibly take?

How hard can it possibly be?

How much can it possibly cost?

Three questions one asks oneself when trying to set oneself up in a new locale.  The answers?

Very.

Very.

Very.

How long can it possibly take is in direct proportion to how hungry you are and how badly you have to use the washroom.  I discovered this the hard way when I wandered in to T Mobile to pick up my US cell phone, a task I thought surely could only take about 15 minutes or so.  One hour later famished and squirming I emerged,  only to be forced to return two subsequent times to solve increasingly vexing issues, or to play a rousing game of “stump the sales guy”. On the last visit I emerged with the Blackberry corporate office number which is in the 519 area code. Which last I checked was Peterborough or thereabouts. And closed by the time I got the number.

How hard can it possibly be?  In direct inverse proportion to how easy you think it should be.  I mailed myself a package that was too bulky for me to take on the plane down.  I went to pick it up at the local post office, only to be greeted by a line up of 5 people in front of a closed door.  I asked if there was any indication of anyone actually working behind the door.  There was not.  I asked if there was an alternate place to pick up packages.  There was not.  I gave up after 20 minutes when I came to the conclusion that waiting for a postal worker around the lunch hour has approximately the same results as waiting for Godot.

How much can it possibly cost is a number that changes as soon as you tell someone you are from out of country and do not have a social security number.  You are then expected to plunk down a deposit of roughly the gross national product of Fiji before you are allowed to say, cook on a gas stove.  I have been told it is much the same effect that happens when you tack the word “wedding” on to otherwise innocuous words like “cake” and “dress”.

Needless to say it has been a tad frustrating.  I have fingers crossed that by next week I will have internet, home and cell phone established and something comfy to sit on.  It may be less naive to hope that Godot shows up after all.

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