I Am The Walrus. Or his cousin. Or something.

The Los Angeles Marathon was this past Sunday.  It is called “Stadium To The Sea” as the race begins at Dodger Stadium and ends at the Pacific Ocean.  The route came though my neighbourhood along Sunset Boulevard then cut down to Santa Monica.  This closed both of these major thoroughfares as well as a portion of Orange Blvd which lies a few blocks east of my humble abode.  In effect it was impossible to leave my area by car for the majority of the day.  This, coupled with the fact that it was quite chilly and teeming with rain, meant that Sunday was a home bound lock down.  I spent the day sampling the various bits of snack items I had amassed from Trader Joes wrapped in a blanket watching endless episodes of “Dexter” on Netflix.  At one point in time I looked down at my prone form, cocooned in a brown fuzzy pelt on my couch with a sample of organic pseudo Kraft Dinner balanced on my chest and thought “Good Lord.  I look like an otter”.

The more I looked into it, the more I thought the analogy was a good one.  Here are some fun facts:

“An otter’s den is called a holt or couch. A male otter is a dog, a female a bitch, and a baby a whelpkit, or pup” Bitch?  Yeah, I have heard that one before.

“Otters have long, slim bodies and relatively short limbs”. The “slim” is variable but the rest fits the profile.

“Many otters live in cold waters and have very high metabolic rates to help keep them warm. Eurasian otters must eat 15% of their body-weight a day, and sea otters 20 to 25%, depending on the temperature.” I believe I have come close to that on a chip binge or two.

“For most otters, fish is the primary staple of their diet. This is often supplemented by frogs, crayfish and crabs. Some otters are expert at opening shellfish, and others will feed on available small mammals or birds.” Well, I am pretty much off the red meat now, though I do enjoy the occasional bit of chicken.  I have always found it funny that I spurn commonplace victuals such as eggs and cheese but if it scuttles across the ocean eating garbage I want two servings.  Another check in the otter box.

“The sea otter carries a small flat rock under its armpit with them to use to open hard shells on animals in which it feeds upon.” This is a trick I absolutely have to learn.  I have a friend who stores various essentials in her bra (Hi Rea!).  I am sure I could tuck a little rock in there.  Would come in handy for innumerable things now that I think about it.

“Otters are playful animals and appear to engage in various behaviors for sheer enjoyment.” That would explain my love of speed and habit of hurling myself off of/out of things.  Possibly would explain my thing for musicians, but that could just be a genetic defect.

“Different species vary in their social structure, with some being largely solitary, while others live in groups.” The former, definitely.

So there we have it.  I am channeling the otter.  Tomorrow I will be on a quest for a small flat rock.

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